


Let Love In

by LuminousGloom



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Community: rs_small_gifts, Fluff, Ice, M/M, Post-Prisoner of Azkaban, Smut, Snow, Winter, winter night, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 14:20:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13078677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuminousGloom/pseuds/LuminousGloom
Summary: Written for RS_Small Gifts 2017, a gift for abradystrix.Prompt: A Reconciliation. Wild card: Nick Cave!Speechless, his heart pounding wildly, Remus could only stare. Because of course he knew that voice. And those storm grey eyes.





	Let Love In

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Abradystrix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abradystrix/gifts).



“Here.” The stranger pushed a glass of whisky across the table. “Got you another.” 

Remus looked up in surprise. Of course he’d noticed the odd figure entering the dim old pub. The place was tiny and practically deserted. A random wanderer blown in by the cold, Remus had thought, secure in his ability to perfectly blend into the background. 

But now the man was staring straight at him. “May I?” 

Before Remus could say anything, the stranger had set down his own drink and dropped into the seat opposite, nearest the fire. He wore a dark felt hat on his grey hair, and his sallow face was dominated by a great hooked nose. Shrugging off his thin coat, he revealed a purple pinstripe jacket and tropical shirt that looked garish even in the low light. 

Speechless, his heart pounding wildly, Remus could only stare. 

“Yeah,” the stranger said quietly with a small crooked grin, “it’s me.” Because of course Remus knew that voice. And those storm grey eyes. “Hello, Moony.”

Remus swallowed hard.

“Right.” The stranger coughed a little. “Due diligence. You, um - you last saw me in my bathers? Not quite the same here, is it. You'd think we're in the bloody arctic, rather than the wilds of - where are we, Derbyshire?” 

Still staring at the bizarre person before him, Remus took a long gulp of whisky. When he spoke at last, he was amazed by how collected his voice sounded. “What are you doing here?”

“Might well ask you the same thing,” the man huffed, holding out his large hands to warm them by the fire. Remus knew those hands, too.

“And Buckbeak?” he almost whispered.

“Hidden in the forest, not far from here. I, well.” The man shrugged. “I was hoping you'd let me stay with you.”

“Does Albus know?”

The small bark of laughter would've dispelled any remaining doubts. This was Sirius, all right. “I didn't think I needed to consult him.”

Shaking his head, Remus picked up the fresh glass of whisky. “This is madness,” he said, before downing about half of it. “Why are you here? It’s a ridiculous risk to take.”

“Obviously to see you, you great oaf.” The man that was Sirius looked at him frankly. “I've missed you. And if Merlin won't come to Cuthbert’s Cairn, then Cuthbert’s Cairn will have t-”

“But you’re not meant to be going _anywhere_.” The words came out more harshly than he'd intended, and made the other man flinch. “What happened to _relishing your tropical exile_?” Remus added in a more conciliatory tone.

The man cocked his head and cleared his throat. “Can I stay with you or not?” he asked. “I'll go back if you don't want me.” 

Remus nodded. “Yeah, of course you can.” He knocked back the rest of his whisky. “Come on then.” He got up, his chair violently scraping on the wooden floor, and threw on his thick coat and scarf. “Night,” he nodded at the grizzled pub landlord and the three sleepy regulars.

Outside, the fierce cold swept straight into his clothes, as gusts of wind howled around the old building. Remus crossed the frozen pub carpark into the darkness just beyond the circle of yellow light. Stars shone cold behind ragged, racing clouds, the moon hung like a large, dented tin plate. Crunching snow underfoot, he stomped his feet, waiting. 

Back in the Thirsty Dog, by the glow of dim lamps and the comforting fire, the whisky had helped Remus maintain his composure. Out here, in this barren wasteland of ice and snow, he was feeling less sure of himself. And increasingly irritated.

Eventually the strange version of Sirius appeared. Tilting his head back, he seemed to taste the air, catching a couple of whirling snowflakes, before sauntering straight towards Remus.

“Shall we Apparate? This coat isn’t nearly warm enough,” he apologised. “Didn’t think it would be this bad.”

“Yes,” Remus agreed, pointing at a small copse in the distance, “but let’s get over to those trees first, out of sight. I’ve been trying not to leave any traces of magic where there’s people about. Here, take this.” Remus took off his scarf and shoved it at the dark figure. He could just about make out Sirius’ shape, which was taller suddenly, and thinner. Sirius must have dispensed of his Disguising Charms. 

“Thank you.” Sirius wound the scarf around his neck and sighed. “I’m sorry I’ve ambushed you, Moony. I can always go if you’d rather–”

“Don't.” Remus protested before he realised he was going to. “It doesn’t matter now,” he added gruffly. “Seeing as you’re already here.”

They walked on in silence, through powdery snow, a bitter wind tearing at their coats. The white expanse of fields reflected an eerie light.  
“This way.” Remus pointed in the direction of the path, hidden now, that led into the moors. The wind carried the faint peal of bells from a distant chapel, the toll sounding ghostly and hollow.

“This place feels like the end of the earth,” Sirius observed.

“Yeah, well, it suits its purpose,” Remus bit out. He walked faster. “You could be more bloody careful yourself, you know. About your own safety, if nothing else.” 

“Perhaps,” Sirius said darkly, not sounding contrite at all. “I thought you would’ve got my letter. Or didn't you get it?”

“Yeah, I got it,” Remus snapped, shaking his head in exasperation. “It might’ve been intercepted, too. Why couldn’t you just keep to your tropical paradise, and bloody stay there? Why would you suddenly come all the way out here?”

“Well, what on earth are you doing all the way out here?” Sirius retorted. “Where have you been?”

“I’ve – been keeping a low profile. Out of the way. Which is exactly what you should be doing, damn it,” Remus hissed, his anger flaring up. “What with Muggles, and bounty hunters, and the Ministry all baying for your blood.” Striding through the snow, he actually shouted, “Just for once, can’t you just do as you’re told?”

Sirius had to pick up the pace to keep up. “I had to come back,” he explained urgently. “Harry’s been writing to me. Something strange is going on at Hogwarts. Something Dark. I’m not quite sure what it is, but I don't like it. I'm not convinced he’s safe –”

“Harry?” Remus stopped dead, his anger instantly supplanted by dread. “What do you mean? What’s happened?”

“Small things, really.” The dark shape that was Sirius gestured vaguely. “Nothing drastic. But it's all adding up to a picture that I don't like one bit.”

“Go on,” Remus demanded. Trudging on through the deep snow, he listened intently while Sirius recounted the contents of Harry’s letters. Somehow the boy had been dragged into the Triwizard Tournament. Crouch had been behaving suspiciously. Death Eaters, and a Dark Mark, had been sighted at the Quidditch World Cup. 

Walking alongside Sirius in the dark, Remus wished he could look at him properly. He hadn’t seen him in months. Of course there was his scent, unmistakeable even now, muddied by grime and dirt as it was, and muted by the cold. He never could help his own physical response to that scent, that deep, visceral longing to be near the person who smelled so right. 

When Sirius had finished his report, Remus agreed that while none of the facts sounded immediately life threatening to Harry, they didn’t bode well at all. 

“So.” He cleared his throat. “You haven’t just arrived, have you. How long exactly have you been back?”

“Six weeks, more or less.” Sirius admitted. “Been staying around Hogsmeade. You know, in empty houses. And in a cave.”

“Oh.” Taken aback, Remus felt his stomach turn. “Hogsmeade again. Are you out of your mind? Do you get off on the fact that you might be seen? And anyway, what possible use are you to him there?”

“I want to be able to keep an eye on him.” Sirius sounded defiant. “Help him, in any way I can.”

“And now what, you’re asking me to come and help you protect him somehow?” 

“No. Well, if you like. I - I really just wanted to see you.”

Remus snorted, exuding a puff of white breath. 

Sirius carried on, undeterred. “Only no one bloody knew where to find you. Took me ages. Otherwise I would've looked you up weeks ago.” 

The wind had died down. All around them, snow was falling in silent flurries. Marching on relentlessly, Remus headed towards the row of barren elms and poplars, their branches pointing like crooked fingers at the night.

“I was miserable on that island, you know.” Sirius’ voice continued quietly. “No one there, and nothing to do, except sit in the sun and get pissed on cheap rum. Couldn’t stand it. Only managed to hold out there for as long as I did because I kept hoping you might –” he took a deep breath. “I thought you’d come and see me again. But you never even replied.” 

“Right.” Remus scoffed. “Well, I've been having a terrific time. Working for petty-minded Muggles out here in the arse end of nowhere has been an unfettered delight. But if that’s what it takes to stay alive, then - then it’ll have to do. Your life isn’t some trifling thing you gamble away on a whim, just because you’re bored.”

“Remus –” Sirius’ hand caught hold of Remus’ arm. “Moony, wait.” 

“What?” Remus came to an abrupt stop, taking a defiant stance. “Unreasonable, is it? Not wanting you captured and killed? Get myself the full set of dead friends, plus the bonus of a traitor? When you’ve only just got your freedom back, when –” Remus gasped for breath, the cold air cutting him like a knife, and tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. “When you’ve only just come back,” he croaked. “ _Come on,_ Pads.” The lump in his throat was persistent. “I thought we’d agreed.”

Sirius nodded, a long shadow in the moonlight. “Yes,” he said darkly, “we agreed I wouldn’t do anything rash. It’s just – I couldn't not try and help Harry. You know that. And I am being very careful. Didn’t you like my disguise back there?” He tried a hopeful chuckle, but Remus wasn’t biting.

“I've had to come and find you,” Sirius continued soberly, “because I don’t know what it all means. You, hiding like this. In the back of beyond, and all but invisible. The fact I haven’t heard from you in months. When I thought we’d – that you and I had – or did I imagine it all? Am I that confused?”

As the snow fell around them, Remus thought of the sand between their toes, the sand between their sheets. The crystal blue sea, Sirius’ black hair on the pillow. The soft tropical night, scented by night blooming flowers. Smoking together on Sirius’ ramshackle porch, with large insects buzzing around the bottled light. For once being able properly to let go, with the one person there who knows how to catch you.

“I sent you owls,” Remus ventured.

“You sent me inane notes that meant nothing,” Sirius said evenly. “I sent you a love letter.”

“Yes.” Remus felt winded. “You did. Which might've been intercepted.” He let out a small laugh, shaking his head at himself. “Merlin, when did I turn into such a miserable sod?” Then, taking a deep breath, he gave in. “And you didn’t imagine it, Pads.” He sighed. “None of it.”

“Well, then.” Sirius stepped closer in the biting wind. Remus could hear his teeth chattering. 

So Remus threw his arms around the stupidly reckless man and pulled him close. His hands burned when he pushed them into Sirius’ shadowy coat. He pressed his face into the crook of Sirius’ neck, inhaling deeply. The scent of Sirius still made him weak at the knees. This was definitely Sirius’ actual face he was touching, his own black, unruly hair. They kissed slowly. Shivering against him, Sirius’ skin was cold as stone. “I’m sorry,” Remus murmured. “I shouldn’t have denied you a Heating Charm. Maybe I really have become paranoid.” 

“Moody would be proud.” Sirius shrugged. They laughed softly. Then Remus pulled him closer still, and Apparated them both back to the house.

 

They arrived with a sharp crack in the deafening silence, with all other sound muffled by the snow. It didn’t matter, the grey stone cottage stood high on a secluded hillside, hidden away, miles from anywhere. Remus quickly let go of Sirius and unlocked the door. Beyond the low dry stone wall stretched an impressive panorama, rugged hills and the valley below, white in the cold moonlight. 

“Great view,” Sirius said, stomping his feet on the steps. 

“Yeah.” Remus smiled, gesturing for Sirius to enter. Considering how tiny the house looked from the outside, the interior was surprisingly spacious. He clapped his hands to light the lamps. “How _did_ you find me?” he asked then. 

“Arthur gave me your address.” Sirius explained cheerfully. “Sent it from the Ministry as well.” His grin faltered when he noticed Remus’ expression, and he rolled his eyes. “Come on, we’ve all been through a war before. Of course we used intermediaries.”

Remus nodded vaguely. Sirius was looking terrible. Haggard and bony, with dark circles under his sunken eyes, his golden tan apparently already a distant memory. 

“So this is Podmore’s place, is it?” Sirius changed the subject. “Surprisingly nice. Mind if I heat it up a little?” 

“Sure.” Remus watched Sirius draw his wand and wave it briskly, murmuring Heating Charms. “Podmore told me that it had been standing empty for years. That I’d be doing him a favour if I looked after it for a bit, and so on. I thought I’d only be here for a week. Then I just sort of - ended up staying.” Clearing his throat, Remus quickly made for the kitchen to fetch two glasses and a bottle of wine. His head was swimming a little, and his face stung now they were out of the biting cold.

Back in the main room, Sirius was kneeling before the cast iron woodburning stove, stacking wood into the fire chamber. Remus threw his coat onto an armchair and opened the wine.

“Thank you for your letter,” Remus began.

“You're welcome. Any time.” Sirius shot him a glance, waiting for him to continue.

Remus didn’t know what to say. He poured the wine, then drained about half a glass. “I did mean to get back to you.”

“So why didn’t you?” Sirius asked quietly.

“I thought - it would be too dangerous.”

Sirius snorted. “Bollocks. You know that I’ve been able to receive letters, that it’s perfectly safe. I do know how to look after myself, as it happens.”

“Do you?” Shaking his head, Remus knocked back some more wine. “You're still acting as though this is all just some great game for you.”

At a flick of Sirius’ wand, the wood hissed and burst into flame. He closed the small iron door and sat back on the hearthrug, turning to face Remus properly. “I’m not, actually,” he said, fixing Remus with those grey eyes. “On the contrary. We seem to have different priorities, that's all. So why did you never get back to me?”

Remus tried to compose a coherent answer. Sirius was watching him, unmoving.

“I think it's because I'm afraid of you,” Remus tried at last. “Not of _you_ , really. But of myself, when I'm around you.” He swallowed hard, that blasted lump in his throat was back. “It's taken me such a long time to piece myself back together. I can't do that again.”

“Why would you have to?” Sirius frowned. “Merlin, I'm here, aren't I? You won't have to. I promise.” He rapidly got to his feet, took the glass from Remus’ hand and drained it. Blindly setting the glass down on the table, he drew Remus into a kiss. He kissed him deeply, hungrily. Those large bony hands gently slid down Remus’ back, holding him close. “I’m not going anywhere,” he mumbled close to his ear, his voice so husky it gave Remus goosebumps.

Remus sighed against Sirius’ cheek, powerless. He felt foolish for having denied himself for so long. Curse his own cowardice, he thought, and his valiant ideas of self preservation. Cupping Sirius’ stubbly cheek, he kissed him properly. Even if they talked about it all night long, he reckoned, if they discussed and defined things in detail, it still wouldn’t change a thing. With Sirius right here, and alive, and in his arms, all of Remus’ convoluted reasoning came tumbling down.

Tangling a hand in Sirius’ hair, Remus nuzzled his throat, drinking in his scent. “Would you like to see the bedroom?” he asked quietly.

Sirius grinned. “By all means.”

Tumbling onto the freezing bed, they kissed again. Lying on their sides, facing each other, they kept snogging for ages, the way they had done as teenagers. Remus took his time, slowly trailing his hands along the contours of Sirius’ thin frame. Following the dips and juts and curves, that old map of desire he’d never really forgotten. 

Meanwhile, Sirius’ fingers found their way beneath Remus’ shirt, caressing his abdomen, his hip, his lower back. Drawing Remus into a firm embrace, his breath came in choked bursts against Remus’ throat. Their bodies touched everywhere, perfectly aligned, and thrumming with excitement. Remus closed his eyes, banishing any thoughts beyond the here and now. 

When he began to peel off Sirius’ purple blazer, uncovering more of that lurid tropical shirt, he couldn’t help laughing. “Where _did_ you get these clothes?” 

Grinning, Sirius shrugged. “Take them off,” he mumbled thickly.

Remus obliged, stripping Sirius of both jacket and shirt, kissing and nuzzling each bit of newly revealed skin, patterned with mysterious sigils and symbols. Never mind that Sirius’ bones were too prominent, and his muscles like ropes, that strangers’ hands had marked most of his torso. Remus wanted him, desired him fiercely, and he delighted in every touch. 

Sirius made short work of Remus’ jumper and shirt, looking almost reverential as he ran his hands all over Remus’ chest and back, tracing the old scars. They kissed hungrily, both of them breathing hard.

When Remus opened the front of Sirius’ trousers, Sirius looked at him with wide, searching eyes. “You must be exhausted,” Remus hesitated. “If you’re too tired, we don’t have to –”

Sirius snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he grinned. “We’re not stopping now! But – I’d love it if you did the honours.” Running his hand along Remus’ cheek, he added, “Fuck me, Moony?” 

“Yeah,” Remus agreed softly, feeling sort of hot and cold at the same time. He thought of magnets snapping together, of two pieces that made a perfect whole. How had he managed to delude himself that he’d be better off alone?

They rapidly got each other’s trousers off. Snogging again, Sirius moved on top of Remus, and as he rolled his hips, their hard-ons brushed together, creating the most delicious friction. Remus slowly stripped Sirius of his boxers, enjoying the curve of his arse as he pulled them down. They were breathing heavily, and Sirius gasped against him, before quickly turning them both, so Remus was on top, straddling him. Impressed and aroused by this unexpected display of strength, Remus finally got hold of Sirius’ cock. As he began to stroke him, Sirius threw his head back, letting out a low, throaty sound. 

Remus shifted lower, wanting to taste him, but Sirius stopped him. “No,” he gasped, blindly massaging Remus through the fabric of his boxers, “Later...” Raising himself up a little, Sirius reached for his wand, and simply Vanished Remus’ underwear, before murmuring the relevant Charms. 

Then Sirius’ hand was upon him, eagerly slicking Remus’ shaft with ample lubricant. Moaning softly, Remus had to focus so he wouldn’t come at once. Sirius tugged him closer, and let his thighs fall open in invitation. Still pumping Sirius’ gorgeous cock, Remus moved between them. He rolled and squeezed Sirius’ balls in his other hand, before trailing his fingers lower, down his crack. Finding the puckered hole, he gently dipped into it. His finger pushed in easily. 

“Go on,” Sirius urged him on breathlessly, lifting his legs higher and canting his hips. “I’m ready.”

So Remus lined himself up. A low, guttural groan escaped him as he slowly breached Sirius and slid into tight, slippery heat. Sirius seemed impatient, pulling his knees towards his chest. Remus caressed the backs of Sirius’ thighs, retreating a little, only to firmly push back in. Sinking into him deeply, he shifted forward, bending to cover Sirius’ body with his own. As they kissed, he felt Sirius’ hands on his arse cheeks, felt Sirius’ rigid cock against his abdomen, leaking profusely. Remus was fucking him slowly and deeply, almost overwhelmed by the delicious slide of skin on skin, by that heady scent he loved. 

Thrusting into the slick heat of Sirius’ body, he kept up his long, steady strokes. It had been too long, he knew he wouldn’t last. Panting beneath him, Sirius took his own leaking cock in hand, working it desperately as Remus picked up the pace, as they irresistibly moved together.

Then Sirius gasped, jerked and shuddered. Hands gripping Remus, muscles clenching down, Sirius seemed to be seized by spasms of pleasure. Still fucking him deeply, Remus felt the hot liquid splash his abdomen. It was all too much. Already light headed as he was, his senses seemed to narrow in and converge, until there was nothing left but stillness, and silence. Remus cried out as he came.

When he came back to his senses, there was Sirius’ hand on his cheek. They kissed, still breathing hard. Remus pulled out slowly, unable to form a coherent thought. They’d both been splattered with Sirius’ spunk. Stretching his legs with a contented sigh, Sirius wrapped an arm around Remus and pulled him close. Remus felt boneless, his mind a blissful blank.

Presently, they summoned a glass of wine, and sipped from it. 

“About that letter of yours,” Remus began, furrowing his brow. “I think I didn’t really believe it.”

Sirius shot Remus a curious glance. “The ravings of a lunatic, you mean,” he said dryly.

“Of course not. I suppose I – couldn’t allow myself to believe it.”

“I meant every word, you know,” Sirius murmured gruffly. 

“Yeah.” Remus nodded. “I know.”

“Listen.” Sirius sat up straight, facing Remus properly. “I'm not going to harass you, or stalk you. But you'll need to decide what you want. Come to me, or turn away. Don't leave me hanging.”

Remus rubbed his forehead. “I don’t know, Sirius. There’s a war coming. It feels like last time round. Something ominous, gathering force.” He sighed. “What you've told me about Harry only confirms it. Doesn't it?”

Frowning, Sirius cocked his head. “Right...”

“Well, I’ve told you,” Remus continued stubbornly, “I’m afraid – of getting into this again. We’ve lost so much. I’ve just about managed to live without you. I don't want to have to learn to live without you again.” 

Sirius tossed his head in exasperation. “Who says you’d have to? Anyway, none of us can change the past, Moony. Nor can we avoid the future. Can’t we leave all that behind? Can't we just be happy _now?”_

Remus looked at the determined, courageous man before him. His bony, still handsome features, those expressive eyes. The man he’d never been able to resist, for which he had despised himself profoundly – until he'd realised that Sirius had been betrayed, too, along with the rest of them. 

Sirius had never been afraid to ask perilous questions, or to be upfront about his feelings. He’d tracked Remus down, insisting that even a fugitive ex-prisoner and a werewolf deserved to be happy, no matter how dismal their situation.

“Yeah,” Remus decided. They could be happy. It could be an act of revenge, of defiance. To care for each other, to delight in each other’s company, no matter what the future held. “Perhaps we can be happy now.” He grinned, and took a long swig of wine. “It's a bit late in the day, I suppose. But it isn't never.”

**Author's Note:**

> _Big thanks to nachodiablo and shaggydogstail for their sage input! Prompted by the outstanding wild card (Nick Cave), I’ve used references to and quotes from a number of his songs (Let Love In, Stranger Than Kindness, The Loom of the Land, The Ship Song, Oh Children, Thirsty Dog, Black Hair, Sweetheart Come) as well as a recent quote from the man himself._


End file.
